Overwhelmed

Wow! Have you ever had a day where you felt the presence of the Lord in every event? Today my soul was fed and my heart rejoiced in the Lord. It was a rich and full day.

I began the day by remembering Christ's sufficiency for me and asked for His strength and that He would walk with me throughout the day.

In my first class I remembered the powerful impact of mentors in my life and my own passion for mentoring.

In Chapel, I worshipped the Lord singing

"All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live."

Surrendering to the Lord the struggles I have been facing and recognizing my need for Him, I sang,

"Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name"

and read part of Jeremiah 17 which says:

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man...but blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Then I went to my next class and remembered how blessed I am to have so many great friends and classmates here. All the reunions today were so fun. We also talked about the importance of keeping our eyes set on eternity while still working to live well and make a difference here.

Last I read an e-mail from a mentor/friend that reminded me that if God is sovereign and also good we can trust His hand in our life. He works for our good and in Jeremiah 32:41 God says of His people,

"I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good."

It all rounded out with a gripping description of crucifiction from my friend who just came back from Israel, and a strongly preached exposition of the gospel by Mark Driscoll (Marshill Church, Seattle) that I listened to while I worked out.

Who am I to be loved this way?

I truly have joy from the Lord and am rejoicing in Him today. I am overwhelmed by all the reminders of God's love and His many blessings in my life. That I could even find joy in offering up my pain and trial to God is another reason to praise Him. He is so worthy of my praise.

Well friends, let me close out with this song. May you draw nearer to the Lord as you remember His awesome worth.

All My Praise
Words and music by Audrey Hatcher
I will follow You through green pastures
And sing hallelujah to Your Name
I will follow You through dark disaster
And sing hallelujah through the pain

And even in the shadow of death
I will praise You
And even in the valley I will say

Holy, my God
You are worthy of all my praise
Holy, my God
You are worthy of all my praise

You are seated on Your throne in heaven
And You see all of us down here
And You have promised You will not abandon
So I shall not fear

And even in the shadow of death
I will praise You
And even in the valley I will say

Holy, my God
You are worthy of all my praise
Holy, my God
You are worthy of all my praise

You made every star
And You taught it how to shine
You knew my name before there was time
And all this was just part of Your glorious design
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

APOLOGY

To both of my faithful blog readers :)

I am sorry for not expressing any of the many lessons God has been teaching me or any of the great lessons I have gleaned from my classes on this blog. I assure you that there are many blog posts in my head which will eventually be recorded here too. To make up for it here are some pictures from the last few months.

Me playing one of my Original songs for my hall!

The girls that have been up to Nightstrike (Ministry to the Street Community in Portland) with me this semester

Me and good friend Gasper from Slovenia at Stumptown Coffee, Portland, OR

Me and my dear dear friend Michelle who visited me in Oregon before heading to a year of ministry in the NY ghettos see her blog
http://brooklynmichelle.blogspot.com


Me and R/A friends Reena, Amanda and Ryan (three on far right) and friend David at Corban's Winter Formal

Me and my beautiful sister Bekah on a date in P-town (Eating yummy Lebanese food!)

More posts to come!

Rest Part II

Praise our good God for showing me truth and teaching me. Through prayer I came to see that by not resting in the Lord I am routinely rejecting a good gift from my Father, ignoring my need for restoration and pridefully carrying on on my own.

No wonder Sabbath is such an important concept in Scripture! God knows that we need it and it is a reminder of our need for God!

I have a confession to make, I am not a good rester.

I desire to become a person who knows how to rest well. Not just for my own health and sanity (though God surely had these in mind when he set up the Sabbath mandate) but in order to practice humility. I desire to practice rest (giving my worries to God and accepting renewal, strength, peace and rest from Him) in order to more fully trust God and in order to live a life that communicates "I really need you God" rather than "I don't need rest, I can do this!" In order to communicate to God "I desire to give my struggles to you recognizing that you can give me wisdom and grace to face the, not ignore them."

I want to trust God and show Him with my life that my hope and stability are found in my knowledge of who he is and what he has done not in who I am and what I can do.

God teach me to rest well. Help me to humbly express my need for you in the way I rest. Help me recieve the renewal you desire to offer to those who come to you. Forgive me for my pride, I need you and can't make an impact in this world without your strength and direction. Help me resolve to work on this and give me the humility to remember this lesson often especially in a world that gives value to self sufficent people who pride themselves on how much they can do without stopping.

Praise God for His work in our lives. I pray that I will continually ask God to transform the weaknesses in my life into opportunities to show His grace and strength.

Rest Part I

It's been a month exactly since I wrote about rest and how I desparately need to learn how to build it into my life. I was in the middle of the craiest week of the semester as far as assignments go and as I sat in our chapel (which was open for prayer and set aside for students to stop and rest before God)

I prayed "God if there is anything that is keeping me from knowing you more or living my life as you want me to please show me and change me."

It is amazing to me how faithful God is when I honestly and humbly pray for him to show me my weaknesses. I am amazed at how specific he is and how loved and not condemned I feel when he puts his finger on something I need to change. When God speaks to me this way and when I experience his love and holiness in the light of my own weaknesses and failures how else can I respond except by humbly wrestling before God with my problem and seeking restoration through him. I have a deep desire to change that I might serve and know him better.

The area that God specifically put on my heart that day was that I often try to live my life in my own strength and then I come to my end (which doesn't take long) and am exhausted (which happened often last semester). I love my work and my life as a student but don't love feeling tired all the time (emotionally and spiritually as well as physically).

God brought to mind a few conversations in the last few months in which I basically told people "I don't rest." I was just resigned to the fact that I have a crazy busy life and that I don't need to slow down.

CONVICTION!! What did I just say that I don't need rest?

I certainly live my life that way sometimes. It is obvious that I need a whole lot of things in my life. It is obvious that I do not have everything under control. But somehow in my pride I was able to convice myself that I'd ask God for strength when I ran out of my own. Ugh! I hate that that was part of my thinking for so long with out me acknowledging it. How arrogant and how dead wrong. I gladly repent of that and chose to accept my utter inability to serve God and live a godly life outside of His strength.

Anticipation...

I just spent over an hour browsing houses online with 4 other girls who I hope to live with next year. We found some really exciting prospects current favorite is a house in the country 15 minutes from campus 1400 sq feet 3 bedrooms 2 bath for $925 a month (divided by 5) bonuses= owner will take care of the yard, includes washer and dryer.



We talked about how I would decorate the house and Heather would cook for us. We talked about doing a Bible study together and getting to know our neighbors...

Are we dreaming? Possibly, but it is fun to dream. :)

New York Pictures

So I know some of you have been waiting for a while. I hope these pictures help you get a feel for the ministry I saw and a bit of the big city. I'll do my best to explain.


The Classic New York City Street


Near Fifth Avenue


Central Park


The New York City Skyline from the Rockefeller Building


Sidewalk Sunday School




Michelle with some of her girls


The Truck


Some Cute Girls on the Bus

Metro Ministries International

Question: "What are you doing in New York?"

Answer: I have a good friend from College Michelle who has been in Brooklyn New York doing a Side Walk Sunday School ministry with Metro Ministries for 3 months now. I decided to add a few days on to the end of my Thanksgiving break and go and visit her.

It has been an eye opener to understand the conditions so many kids live in, in the projects of New York. It's heart breaking.

It has also been very exciting to be a part of a vibrant ministry that reaches 20,000 kids a week by pulling up trucks with a fold down side in their projects (apt buildings) and bringing Sunday school to them. The hope this ministry is able to communicate to these children is so important, it is life transformational. The gospel of Christ's love always transforms lives.

I guess what I mean is that some how the light shines brightest when the darkness is deep.

And is the darkness deep. Many of these kids have experienced verbal, physical or sexual abuse. An untold number grew up with young, young mothers in their teens. Most of them don't have fathers. Many have siblings who have been involved in or killed by neighborhood gangs. They have many fears and hurts that a child shouldn't be plagued with. They live fearful and bear the weight of feeling unsafe. Not all have experienced these horrors first hand, but each has grown up in a culture where they are aware of it. Yet that is the reality in a broken and fallen world. The good news is that there are people that care for them.

And greater still the truth that there is a God who knows each of their stories, each of their wounds and worries and grieves with them.

Isn't that an amazing thought!!

As hard as it has been to see the pain and fear in some of these kids eyes and walk the often dirty and dark halls of their buildings it has been amazing to see this ministry live out the vision they have for these kids so effectively. It is a joy to see the passion in the interns hearts as I watch them serve these children day after day taking little time to rest or even sit down for a meal (it is a very busy schedule).

I love hearing them talk about the children as "my kids." I love that God has used their words to heal hearts and speak the truth with authority in an environment where many other influences are speaking much louder. I love that each intern (there are 52 from 10 or more different countries) have caught a vision for these children, have taken ownership of the neighborhoods assign to them and are pushing into the darkness with light and hope.

It is not safe here and yet these people are willing to even lay aside their "need" or "right" for safety and in courage walk the path Christ has called them to.

It's hard not get caught up in a ministry when so many around you are living out a vision.

And the vision is powerful. I will never think of New York the same, I know. And I think that I will forever remember the faces of the kids in the ghetto.

What a blessing it has been for me to come and develop a heart to pray for this ministry and these kids. What a blessing to see what my dear friend has been describing these months. It is such a blessing to see another piece of what our God is doing in the world.

Praise the Lord for His power to change lives and pray that he continues to rescue children from the dominion of darkness to bring them into the kingdom of the son he loves. (Col 1:13)

Mary


Here's a Picture of Michelle and I last year:




I hope to put up pictures soon.
For more info on this ministry visit http://www.metroministries.org